Normally it has the inclination of being for your significant other, wife/husband or girl/boyfriend, etc, etc. But, maybe it has a deeper meaning! A meaning that to why it's "cliché" for a reason.
If you didn't know by now, I believe in the power of love. I also believe as a coach, you should coach through LOVE rather than FEAR!!!!
Love is a much stronger emotion.
But as our children are over trained and over coached these days; we drill, drill drill,.. technique, technique, everything must be perfect for our young athletes and we forget to teach them how to just have fun and love the sport they play.
My family has a new addition to the Team. Two month old Kori(boy), born 6lbs 7 ozs , 20.5 inches. (LOL) That's for the females, because unless the baby is like 25 inches and/or 11 lbs, who really cares.... ( aside)(LOL)
Just the other night, that two month old after getting a bath and having his after bath feeding interrupted my wife and I from having a romantic evening. Every time he sensed that something might happen, he would wine and grunt and cause his mother to "respond".
So now I have to wait, and wait, and wait.... you get the point.
If your one of those people who's thinking, oh the baby was just fussy, he's spoiled, he was just trying "ta block", or maybe he's just defending his food supply (LOL)?
Well... maybe, just maybe, the fussiness and constant interruption and jumpiness was his way of saying he needs the LOVE and attention from my wife that he ALWAYS gets. And now that the energy is focused elsewhere... his self preservation reflexes kick in(LOL).
He's Addicted to LOVE and he needs it!!!
Maybe he's addicted to that good feeling, that feeling of security, no judgments, no FEAR and it's overwhelming! Complete trust and constant awareness is abundant! Someone to always to his aid and support his needs.
'Cause the wining stops when he's in her arms.
That said, I am of the belief that this habit is one that does not go away.
The reason many coaches don't coach through love is because THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING! And they "FEAR" they'll be spotted as a fraud if they don't scare the children into order!
If you are a competent coach or parent, have faith in your ability to teach. Allow your athletes to experience learning without fear.
That doesn't mean be soft, it just means that when you introduce them to a game through love, they'll be destined to need it to fulfil a part of their life. And that's a good thing.
You'll form a healthy addiction!
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2 comments:
Its called maslow's hierarchy of needs..and yes the "need to feel loved" is one of them. So yeah your right the need to feel loved is strong in all of us fromt he jump and doesnt not go away over time. Its part of what drives us like the need for self preservation. Our needs control our actions, giving us to some degrree, influence over the environment and those around us. I would argue though (ofcourse), that fear is much more powerful emotion, like anger. It can sometimes be heealthy and constructive when it leads us to run from danger, or get the paper done qucilky so we won't get fired and lose our jobs. Love is indeed powerful, although I think it is a far more complicated emotion. Namely because it is such an ambiguous term. what is love really? A word used to describe a feeling? is it always positive? Lets just suffice to say that we are all animals with instinctive behavior and it is our imagination that attempts to color our animal nature with blissful romanticism that is illusionary at best.
It is true that Maslow created a list. It is also true that LOVE was reasearched well before him.
To me, it's how Greece could build such magnificent temples without slaves. They HAD to LOVE something or someone!
While love has no positive/negative association, in coaching, you could say you "LOVE to smash" teams. It's a much more understandable feeling then, we need to hate the other team and destroy them!
All I ask is for us to do what we ALREADY know how to do. It's not an illusion that most kids love to have fun! What is an illusion is that they all know how to do it!
It is scientifically proven that anxiety builds acid in your blood. Fear is great for a short period but it can physically break the body down!
Love is the forgotten motivator! All the GREATS operate out of LOVE for something!!!
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